Never in all my life have I been told I was unallowed to help in the kitchen. I was raised to help in the kitchen. When I was raised I owned my kitchen. I did it all I baked, I cooked, I cleaned, It was all about what I CREATED. It was my domain. It was where I felt as if I belonged. Everything in my world could go bad. But what I could control was my kitchen. It smelled the way I created it to, It was only as clean as I made it, and it only produced as much as I produced. It was my safety nest. I often found my times finding comfort just sitting on my kitchen counter, alone in the dark partaking of something I created. Something I controlled. In recent times I have been unable to fulfil my reputation of that I had created. At one time I was unable to fail, everything from Chicken and dumplings to the best of cake creations. I OWNED IT! It was all I had.....no wonder I weighed what I did.
Well... that's all changed... 10 months after relieving myself of such duties of the day to day breakfast snack lunch snack dinner desert packing someones lunch and snacks for the next day.... I somehow find my self at odds with the one place that I once cherished.
I used to be able to take a sheet cake made from scratch and dedication and turn it into something stinking awesome, or a couple round tiered double chocolate fudge cake and create a masterpiece, I would wait til the house was at rest to begin and come morning light I would have a master piece... in recent times my spot in the kitchen has diminished as if I have lost my touch. Because....well I kind of have. I'm out of practice. I hardly ever eat at home when I am alone with no babies. If I do its a meal that consist of Ramen noodles or a thrown together salad. If I'm not at home during those days I rely on the cooking of a VIP in my life...:)
Last week I was enlisted to create a birthday cake... a Cardinals football cake for the son of my boss... needless to say due to lack of patience and my daughters need for eating the fondant this cake turned out horrible. I HAVE LOST MY TOUCH.
All of the above gets to my topic! Tonight I spent the evening with my VIP who decided gratefully homemade pizza was the way to go! Me who thinks I need to be in the kitchen at all times tried to intercede. This rodeo together in the kitchen has not been our first, and I must say I rather enjoy that time in their with him. quality time spent creating something wonderful and Delicious together, Everything from biscuits to gravy (he makes the biscuits, I make the Gravy) to fudge! (Hes mastered my recipe:) We work wonderfully together... with the exception of tonight. When I got kicked out. Never have I been kicked out of the kitchen, and although I find it humorous, I also wonder if I have lost my ability to OWN the kitchen like I once had. Its just another untraveled road for me, something new to learn, and another battle to strive through to create a better and stronger me! Its amazing the little things given to us in life that help create us to be who we are and teach us who we've always been... Its OK that I no longer Own the kitchen because for the first time I own and have total control over who I am and who I can become. Besides a shared kitchen is a much happier kitchen. Especially when its shared by two happy people! :)
The pizza turned out amazing, a genious combination of homeade crust, deli pepperoni, Organic mushrooms, italian sausage, chopped onions, perfectly seasoned pizza sauce and the most amazing combination of Mozzerala, Meunster and Feta Cheese. Im glad I was kicked out because this pizza and the lessons I have learned about not having to be in control and allowing someone else take care of me in such a way have all been irreplaceable.