Saturday, December 7, 2013

circumstance happenstance or perfectstance?

lallygagger... that's me! I Lallygag! I was supposed to write my thanksgiving post of all that I was thankful for and here I am 9 days after my deadline, and its finally getting  done. Its not that I'm not thankful for all those I have in my life, I'm just too busy enjoying them to take the moments to sit down and write. so here I am on this beautiful Saturday evening, the end of a perfectly wonderful day. Here I am with a smile on my face and cup of hot coffee in my hand. and I realize that no matter how many words I put down I will never be able to fully express how blessed, happy and thankful I am for all that I have been given. though God has shut many doors in my life, he always opens something much more amazing.


  [lah-lee-gag, lal-ee-]
verb (used without object), lal·ly·gagged, lal·ly·gag·ging. Informal.
to spend time idly; loaf.
to indulge in kisses and caresses; make loveneck.

The second part of that definition was not what I was looking for, but hey, I will take it. :) Its kind of like it was meant to be there. Isn't it amazing how sometimes we end up where we never thought or imagined we would be. But its exactly where we were meant to be. It was just a couple months ago i was sitting in a sermon given my dear Uncle Bill, when he said, "This must be where I'm supposed to be, or else I'd be somewhere else." It gave an all new perspective of how things happen to be. Yes in life we are given choices and with those choices we change outcomes, outcomes of simple situations but more importantly our choices make a huge impact on our present and future. On most things once a choice is made there is no turning back, however we are able to learn and grow from our choices. With that we are also able to know exactly where we don't ever want to be again and also where we do want to be. 

I love how that out of nowhere, more like once I handed my life over to God, that he was able to begin making the changes to my heart and to my circumstances.

He actually began with my heart, he took my heart that had become dirty,  I had lost compassion, I was unable to feel. I became numb, i could slowly feel my life and myself becoming much less and much heartless than I had thought I possibly could become. But there I was I had almost fully became that girl with holes in my soul and a heart 3 sizes to small.  God began to once again reveal to me just how off track I had become just how much I had transformed from that girl i was meant to be. I knew that with this realization I could no longer live on that same self destructive path. I chose to make drastic changes. very uncomfortable changes. During that discomfort I didn't know how exactly my circumstances were going to change. But I knew that by putting my trust fully in God that he would mold me and my life exactly how he desired. there's a scripture that I love;
8For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
9For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts
Isaiah 55:8

I love how comforting that is. Because even when we think we have things under control, we don't. But He does. So even though it came as a shocker as a blow me away at how good God is to me,  as a knock me off my feet how surprised as i was, I accept it as nothing less than a blessing that God once again poured his love out on me when I least deserved it.

He prepared my heart, taught me my lessons, changed my train of thought and then just at the right time threw someone I least expected into the life of my kids, my family and myself. I am blessed in so many way. But one of my favorite ways God has blessed me is with the people he has hand selected to put in my life, from co- workers, friends, family, my kids and of course the love of my life that became my best friend.

1 comment:

  1. Your journey is an inspiration....i am blessed by your story